職場守則,形容的不錯喔! |
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A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. |
有一隻 烏鴉整天就坐在樹上,但就是不做事。 |
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, |
之後就有一隻兔子看到烏鴉,就問說: |
Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? |
我能學你這樣子就坐在這兒整天不用做事嗎? |
The crow answered: Sure, why not. |
烏鴉就說啦:當然可以,為啥不行? |
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. |
所以,兔子就在樹的底下休息起來, |
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. |
突然的,有一隻狐狸出現把兔子給吃了。 |
Moral of the story is: |
這故事告訴你: |
To be sitting and doing nothing, |
想要整天坐著不做事, |
you must be sitting very, very high up. |
你就必須高高在上 |
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Lesson Two第二課 |
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A turkey was chatting with a bull. |
有一隻火雞跟一隻公牛在聊天。 |
I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, |
火雞說:我真的很想爬到這樹枝頭上耶! |
sighed the turkey, but I havent got the energy. |
但是我沒力氣! |
Well, why dont you nibble on some of my droppings? |
牛說:嗯,沒關係,那你要不要吃一點我的牛大便(英譯:狗屁,屁話)? |
replied the bull.Theyre packed with nutrients. |
我的牛大便是很營養的喔。 |
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him |
enough strength |
to reach the first branch of the tree. |
火雞就吃了很多牛大便,就變的很強壯足夠讓火雞爬上第一排的樹枝。 |
The next day, after eating some more dung, |
接下來的一天,火雞又吃了很多牛大便(狗屁,屁話) |
he reached the second branch. |
讓火雞可以爬上第二排枝頭。 |
Finally after a fortnight, |
最後,兩個禮拜過後, |
there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. |
火雞終於爬上枝頭很安穩的在休息, |
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, |
好景不常,一位農夫發現這隻火雞, |
who shot the turkey out of the tree. |
開槍把火雞打死了。 |
Moral of the story: |
這故事告訴你: |
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there. |
(狗屁,屁話)或許可以讓你爬的更高,但不可能讓你成功一輩子。 |
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Lesson Three第三課 |
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When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. |
當一個身體剛完成的時候,所有的器官想要當這身體的老大。 |
The brain said, I should be Boss because I control the whole bodys |
responses and functions. |
頭腦就說;我應該當老大,因為我支配著整個身體的運作,反應跟功能。 |
The hands said, We should be the Boss because |
接著手就說了;我應該當老大因為都是我在做事賺錢。 |
we do all the work and earn all the money. And so it went on andon with the |
heart, |
所以這樣的爭執就一直繼續著,心臟,肺臟跟眼睛也加入爭執, |
the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. |
最後屁眼(英譯:白癡)也說話要當老大! |
All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. |
所有的器官一同取笑屁眼想當老大, |
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. |
屁眼一氣之下,將自己塞起來,不爽,罷工去了 |
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet |
twitched, |
在很短的時間內,眼睛、手腳就開始不聽使喚, |
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. |
心肺也開始失去功能 |
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the |
motion was passed. |
最後,大家還是決議讓屁眼當老大, |
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out |
the shit! |
所以, 當所有的器官都在做事時, 就老大坐著拉屎(英譯:說屁話) |
Moral of the story: |
這故事告訴你: |
You don' t need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do. |
想當老大根本不需要大腦!任何白癡都可以當! |
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